What is Spiritual Direction?

And other FAQs...

What is spiritual direction and what do spiritual directors do?

Spiritual direction is a conversation in which one person comes alongside the other to help them listen to and be aware of the voice and presence of God in their life. The purpose is deepening intimacy and relationship with God. The focus is on experience, not ideas.

“What exactly do spiritual directors do? The simple and most direct answer I can give is that they help others attend to God’s presence and revelation and prepare to respond to him. In other words, they help people attune themselves to God.” David Benner

What does meeting with a director look like and what happens?

Typically, a directee meets with a director once a month for an hour long conversation to reflect on the directee’s experience in relationship to God in the last month. “Since God is the deepest dimension of all experience, the conversation will range over every area of existence” (Kathleen Fischer). The directee may share as much or as little as they feel safe to share. Topics discussed can include: exploring how a directee sees and experiences God; exploring, wrestling with or deepening one’s prayer life; bearing witness to grief or loss; self awareness, strengthening human relationships; religious hurt; deepening intimacy with Jesus.

The director may open with a question such as, “How have you been?” As the directee shares, the director will listen, reflect back, ask questions and make observations. The director will encourage and validate, but does not correct. Typically, a director does not give advice as direction is not oriented towards solving problems, but deepening one’s inner life with God. The director may make suggestions of spiritual practices that the directee may want to explore, but does not give or follow up on homework.

The director may open up the session with a moment of silence. With all the busyness and distractions of the world around us, slamming on the breaks and transitioning to a conversation where we attune our hearts to the presence of God in our lives can be challenging. One way to prepare our hearts is to take a moment of silence. The first few moments with a director is naturally going to open with chit-chat, “how was your drive?”, “how was your vacation?” Taking a moment of silence is also a way to transition into the direction conversation. During the conversation, the director may ask if the directee would like to take a moment of silence as another invitation of attuning awareness to God’s voice and presence.

Is spiritual direction Christian/ Biblical?

Spiritual direction has been a part of the Christian Church since the first century. Jesus acted as the great spiritual director when he had conversations with those he encountered, asking questions and attuning their hearts to God’s presence and revelation. (Examples include: “What is it you want?” in Matthew 20:21, His conversation with the woman at the well in John 4, and meeting the two men on the Road to Emmaus in Luke 24).

How does the directee grow if the goal isn't to "fix" and the director is not giving advice?

Fixing issues in one's life is not the goal in Spiritual Direction simply because God does not always fix all of our issues, at least in ways that we see, want and understand. It’s just not how he works. “True spiritual direction is about the great unfixables in human life. It’s about the mystery of moving through time. It’s about morality. It’s about love. It’s about things that can’t be fixed” (Alan Jones, Holy Listening).

“All too often we miss the point, assuming...that adjustment of the external environment will somehow fix everything. Yet what we really hunger for is wholeness and God” (Margaret Guenther, Holy Listening).

One of the most significant moments for me in my two year training program was when one of our faculty members taught that there is one question he asks himself to see if a person is growing spiritually: is this person growing in grace and tenderness towards themselves? In direction a directee may learn to attune to God’s kind and tender voice.

How can I be helped by the practice of spiritual direction?

Personally, spiritual direction, is the space where I have learned to hear the loving voice of God and be aware of his presence in my everyday life. I have grown in grace and tenderness towards myself and others while in direction through experiencing Jesus’ kindness. It’s a place where I don’t have to edit myself, can bring my doubts, frustrations, longings and desires and explore where God may be present in those. The director knows that the true director is the Holy Spirit. They help facilitate an ongoing conversation between the directee and God.